Powerful You! Women's Network

Who were you meant to be? 

The process of knowing your place in the world begins by sifting through untruths and letting go of who you are not.  It’s the first step to healing and the portal to emotional and spiritual expansion. 

Ask Yourself: What’s the one thing that you believe about yourself that may be holding you back? Perhaps they’re stories you were told, some passed down generationally. They may be physical, emotional or spiritual barriers.

That “thing” whatever it may be, is not your truth. It’s a story you’ve told yourself over and over again, it became a part of you. In order to move forward…the act of emotional untethering is necessary.

A Simple Clearing: In a brief statement, write down that belief and say silently, “I release all negative thoughts that do not serve me. They do not belong to me and never have”. Tear it up, burn it, relinquish attachment.  Be gentle with yourself, this process takes time.

In yoga, one of my favorite poses is at the end of practice. It’s called corpse pose. It allows for a time of surrender and for silence of the mind. Meditation is the gateway to self visualization, self actualization and is used as a powerful tool.

A Guided Meditation: Find a favorite space that you can access daily. This will be your sacred dwelling, a place where you’ll feel at peace for 5 to 15 minutes, daily. This space is where the mind will be quietly protected from the outside world.  It could be on a porch, your bedroom, or a corner of your living room; a place to lay or sit quietly, free from noise or distractions. 

Close Your Eyes: Take a deep breath slowly in, then slowly out, repeat this naturally. Let thoughts of the day float effortlessly away. You may fall asleep, or experience a state of lucidity. This is your time. You’ll emerge inspired, energized and nurtured. 

If someone were to ask what your vision is for yourself or others, what would it be? To be clear, this does not involve the thinking mind. Part of the practice of meditation is tapping into the higher mind; the mind void of preconceptions + limiting thoughts. 

A Self Visualization Tool: Visualize and focus on what you’ve seen in your mind’s eye through meditation + reflection. Perhaps you desire more peace, ease and fluidity in your day. Or maybe, the next great invention or business idea is brought to light. Even the simple wish of healing or prosperity for yourself or a friend can be given flight. The simple act of self visualization takes practice, focus and repetition.  It takes the quietness of the mind and release of diversion. Over time, it becomes effortless.

My hope is that this offering, will become part of your daily practice, will resonate with you and allow you a sense of purpose, clarity + renewal.

Picture this: The scene, circa mid 1990’s, Donna Karan suit, Joan + David loafers. Hair: executive blonde with a Jennifer Aniston, sort-of-blowout. I once negotiated my salary with a C.E.O. on a paper napkin… priceless.

6 a.m., toxic aftershave, coma-induced flight to JFK. Swank digs in Manhattan at the Soho Grand Hotel (or) flight to Philly, town car to Wilmington, luscious suite at the Hotel DuPont. Week long, brand strategy marketing meetings with global directors and their teams. I organized + conducted futuristic “think tanks”. Not to mention the three hour, mind numbing “get it done”, conference calls that doubled as house cleaning sessions - thanks to the home office. Add a high octane diet coke chugging, micro-managing boss, who lived on no sleep – with a new born baby no less, you get the picture. Clawing and scraping for the rush of accolades + kudos… pure ego.

I got great at pushing paper, generating quantitative and qualitative reports that more than likely, no one ever read. I got good at justifying my corporate existence. Email after email, meeting after meeting. Five years later, I jumped ship, just two years before the S.S. Corporate Titanic sank. The positions that were created were dissolved. Non-sustaining business practices as usual: old school ideologies in this case, did not stand the test of time.

That said, we do, what we gotta do. I knew this job would not last forever or at least, I wouldn’t. I was certain that I'd learn alot about what I did or didn’t like within the confines in which I'd thrive. So I sucked it up, and milked that job like it was the career from heaven above; treating it like the Harvard Business School education that I never had. I was exposed to an evironment of working with top executives, professional athletes, inventors and thought leaders for Fortune 500 companies. The hours ranged from 60 to 80 hours a week, (I had a toddler), and I was paid handsomely for my absence.

The big upside: I learned a lot about myself in that; unless I could see the direct value correlate to the end result it meant nothing to me, utterly and thoroughly, soul-less. It taught me to think longer range, bigger picture, grow thicker skin and shoot straight from the hip.

To repurpose your blood + sweat, knowing at the end of the day, that lessons are learned, you’ll remain unscathed and all the approval you sought or thought you sorely needed, was always or never there; that in itself, got me to here. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.

What is Desire? Have you ever experienced the rush of desire; that feeling of passion for someone or something you cannot wait to wake up or go home to? The healthy exuberance of creative possibility, or the excitement of the artistic unknown: a life that’s self-actualized by your own design is attainable, if you’re in tune with your dharma, destiny or calling. Have you wondered why some people make what seems so out of reach, so undeniably effortless? The answer: Unwavering Belief + Desire. They’re not seeking outside approval, nor do they spend time scrutinizing the actions of others; so passionate about what they desire they are unrelenting at setting their own bar, bunkering down and staying their course.

Co-creating a life you take pride in, is to be willing and open to the potential for possibility or failure, but in the inherent knowing that your power lies deep within. It’s all there and always has been. To seek external approval is as to deem ourselves unworthy and undeserving. It is the furthest point from “the divine”, that we can be. It can automatically throw walls up for failure. The onus and responsibility to guide our own course, is on us and only us. To do right by ourselves not only betters us, but betters society as a whole and solidifies the concept of self-sustainability and interconnectedness.

To follow our heart’s desire, hold every encounter every experience with reverence, as it is our dharma or cosmic blueprint; that demonstration of faith and strength sometimes shows itself, in the unknown. It too, can even be in the uncertainty that a shred of proof exists. We have the potential to become the co-creators and Rembrandts of our lives.

You can do this. I PROMISE.

“We can either watch life from the sidelines OR ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE…. Either we let SELF-DOUBT and FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, OUR POTENTIAL IS LIMITLESS.” ~ Christopher Reeve

Project: You. Radical * Soul * Love

Become more of who you are. Find that sweet spot, where you morph from good to extraordinary. Digging deep takes courage + healthy risk: the willingness to travel outside your comfort zone, to uncharted territory, a destination you’ve only imagined in your mind’s eye; a place where you shine with pride, strength, brilliance and inspiration.

Entrepreneurs + Business Leaders: Learn to identify, summon + leverage opportunity with laser sharp focus, because timing is everything… you’ll do what you love.

Self-Image + Self-Esteem: Get clear and unload your “baggage”. Break down barriers that block your inward vision. Learn to love the real you, stifle your inner critique; establish an innate price tag on your value and worth.

Re-establish a solid relationship with yourself and those around you: As you peel back the layers, you’ll attract what you align with; {your true core + authentic self} and have a whole lot more you, to offer up.

Learn to trust your first thought, your “gut” instinct. Brilliant quote by author Natalie Goldberg: “First thoughts have tremendous energy. The internal censor usually squelches them, so we live in the realm of second and third thoughts, thoughts on thoughts, twice and three times removed from the direct connection of the first fresh flash.”

The game plan: Offering a mélange of integrative modalities + the gift of grounded, practical intuition, designed to coax your creativity and help actualize your bigger picture, no matter your age.

Unearth your higher self… Project: You. Radical. Soulful. Lovely.

Contact Me: (Your Coach + Personal Guide.)

Drawing by Student + Artist Riley Gish.

With Gratitude,

:: on sustainability, interdependence + not being your own island.

“You don’t know where you’re going, until you know where you’re from.”  Aunt Wendy, Bailey-Wilson ‘Ohana (family) Reunion.

“I am because we are.” Translation: The African word, Ubuntu.

In Western European culture for the most part, we are groomed to go out into the world, with the intent of staking our claim. We are told that once we’re of a certain age, we should pursue higher education, seek a high paying career, move away from family and be the pioneers of our personal success. The idea that it’s critical for growth, maturity and the harnessing of autonomy is in part, true. At times, the downside of this ideal is the degradation of emotional stability and severing of the core foundation that a family may have intended to build.

I know firsthand, how that scenario can play out. I left home at seventeen, moved back home at eighteen and married at nineteen. Divorced at twenty-one, I moved away from my family in Alaska, back to my birth state of Washington. Prior to my move, my parents were also struggling with divorce; I felt there was no emotional space for me, so I made the decision that moving would be my best option, my only option.

In the first few years of “my independence”, many times I struggled and lost my footing; encountered loneliness and uncertainty, financial hardship, personal crisis and craved emotional nourishment, all in the name of independence and success. Without guidance or mentoring, I mastered the ability to think quickly on my feet. As a graduate of the University of Street Smarts, I mastered the skill of making slapstick decisions as a survivalist would in the wild, based on dire need, not on my heart’s desire. Many may argue that it was character building; in reflection as a woman and as a parent, I call bullshit. To the friends that offered me payday loans, fed me, offered temporary transportation and helped cover my rent, thank you. I have never forgotten you.

The notion that I was on a voyage of personal success, emotionally sound, with a fine-tuned navigational system was a lie: truth was, I was drowning. I lacked spiritual strength, a stable foundation and a sense of myself; I had not a clue as to who I was.

A pivotal experience.

Last summer, my family and I joined one hundred of my relatives for our family reunion on the island of O’ahu, in the town of Laie. At the time, it was exactly what I needed. There is a unique pulse to the Hawaiian culture, as with many indigenous tribes; a reverence for elders, an honoring of ancestry and a collective bonding that I’d never before experienced. For the first time, I felt a part of something much larger than myself. Metaphorically I grew roots; I had a clearer vision of my future, through the stories of my past.

In this world of technology, it’s far too easy to sequester ourselves as if we’re off basking on our own island. We’re not impervious in our desire and need for connection, or our longing for a sense of belonging.

Interdependence takes the willingness to go beyond ourselves, as we are a continuum of one another. Our emotional strength and social survival rely upon it. Only then will we as individuals thrive.  

Who are you?

If uncertain, I strongly urge you to explore where you’re from. Everything you've thought to be true of yourself may just fall away. That cathartic experience quite possibly, could reinterpret the course of your life.

An earthly permission slip ::

Happiness,

it gives life

a way of being

a state of mind

no one can give it, or can take it away

resides in each breath and every cell

housed within, waiting to be unearthed

it roots, it’s steadfast, does not falter: a constant

success or with failure

unspoken, it morphs, it’s contagious.

it flows, it’s fluid + tangible 

pulling, drawing, it’s electric

healing, not hopeful: but, faith your dominion

liberating, encapsulating, incandescence

radical self-love + happiness

your birthright.  

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“Your experience need not be first hand, to glean monumental inroads to learning, success and leadership. It’s about taking mental notes, fierce planning, loss of fear and simply executing.” – Tara Correll

tips for success: the tried +  the true… In no particular order.

Proximity = speed:  Seek out life mentors and draw from their wisdom.  Study the habits that have led them to success: how do they do what they do? What makes what they do so seemingly effortless?  Ultimately, with the right tools, hard work + habits, you will achieve your goals more expeditiously.

Model who you admire: There are great people in the world that possess positive qualities or habits you may lack: study, exemplify and embody those that feel authentic and work for you.

Charisma is an inherent quality that leaders are born with:  Sorry, it’s not a skill that’s learned. Without naming names (His Holiness, the 14th Dahli Lama) charisma is an inherent gift. Those magnetic individuals who embody this quality attract followers and fans. You charismatic people know who you are, so please use responsibly.

Who’s on your board?: Your posse, your tribe, “your people”, identify exactly who they are. They are the trusted folks you defer to + surround yourself with. They will lovingly give you the real scoop, the skinny + the what’s what, but only if you ask. Side note  :: They MAY NOT be your close friends or family.

With every challenge, there’s a solution: Feeling a bit “stuck”?  Reach out to individuals who are getting things done, ask questions. BUT, know their time is valuable; offer to pay them a consultation fee, take them to coffee or lunch in exchange for their valuable expertise.

Be a student of life:  Life is a classroom. There are opportunities for learning everywhere, everyday: be open to and conscious of what life presents. This includes personal adversity with people and situations. See it as gift from the universe created especially for your growth.  Decipher + extract what’s to be learned, apply it and let it go. If it doesn’t make sense, it will later. Promise.

Practice proactive listening:  As individuals we have lessons to learn and skills to acquire.  I’m a huge fan of the “shut up, listen and learn” approach.  Take notes, enough said. BTW: I am still working on this one.

Get clear about personal goals:  Be realistic about what you set out to do, define expected outcome. Be systematic and clear about each action you take. Break tasks into small “doable” parts, stay on task.

Define what success means to you:  How do you measure personal success?  Are you money motivated?  Love worthwhile causes? Require quality personal time?  Get straight on your priorities.  Define + create measureable benchmarks so you have a continual, quantifiable sense of accomplishment, whatever it may be.

Let go of tired inner + outer dialogue: Words + thoughts hold power. Let go of negativity and criticism toward others and self loathing toward yourself.  Know that this behavior can create barriers to your ultimate success. Instead, practice using language that’s positive and nurturing. Who wants to be around someone who sucks the life out a room?  Tip :: Take an inventory of the people in your life, positive people foster a healthy environment.

Don’t kick the tires in the name of perfection: Opportunity can be fleeting, better to have leaped and held on for dear life, than risk a missed opportunity. Please, when passionately pursuing your dream, go for it!  If it’s meant to be, it will all play out favorably, it’s all a part of the learning curve. Believe me, I know firsthand.

Listen to your inner voice: Aka “your gut instinct”. It’s there for a reason: so listen + take heed. It’ll save you time and keep you from taking an unfavorable detour.

Stay focused, stay flexible:  Progress is not always sequential, learn to be flexible and reprioritize if you hit a roadblock. Accept that as much as we wish to push forward, sometimes now is not the time.

Lead with your authentic voice, true intention + be clear about your motivation:  If intention is King, then motivation is Queen. The universal law of attraction rewards authentic thought and action ie; if you’re doing what you are truly meant to do, in the manner you’re meant to do it, they’ll be lots more success + rewards coming your way.

Be a champion for others:  Successful people give back: help without hesitation. Money, time, knowledge – offer up your talent + resources, help others better themselves.

For one-on-one coaching +  workshops, please visit my coaching page: start here.

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How will I be remembered?

It’s a question I’ve pondered many times this year and analyzed, when a close friend died tragically over a decade ago. About a month prior to her death, we were on the phone, at the time she was working through “stuff”, I listened. I had no idea it was the last time we’d ever speak again.  Before saying goodbye, I’ll never forget Dana’s last three words of gratitude for our friendship were, “you inspire me”. That was it. About a month later, I got the devastating news.

This year was tough, the sudden loss of my Grandmother in March- she was “my moon + my stars”, nearly losing our son three days before his high school graduation, due to a freak accident - a clip to the side, while playing flag football, then death of my Aunt in July. I made the decision to take time to go inward… to catch my breath. With memorial services, a family reunion and Shane leaving for college in just over a month, this was the perfect time to self- reflect, re-frame my life and take stock of priorities.

See No Color and my coaching practice, was close to launch, I had worked tirelessly preparing, but was this the right thing, at the right time?

Many of my friends, family and acquaintances had lived through similar circumstances over the last two years.  I wasn’t alone in the myriad of experiences and obstacles that challenge our faith: divorce, finances, jobs, illness, death, or simply just feeling “stuck”.  I accepted quiet solitude and the knowing that I could access family and the dearest of friends, by simply “being” with people and basking in their presence. Life seemed to just “show up” for me in the most unexpected ways, offering renewed confidence, in the life I’d created and a sense of belonging. The idea that adverse circumstances and situations often times are the impetus of reframing our existence is a powerful one.

     During times of personal crisis, it begs the question…

What innate gifts do I possess? How plentiful are my emotional reserves, will I be remembered, am I significant?  When you are conscious in this life, are aware that there is no time to waste, are willing and ready to receive by bravely letting go of fear + realizing your inherent gifts: LIFE PRESENTS ITSELF. 

        Shine on baby.

A quote from author and minister Marianne Williamson, from A Return To Love.  Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world .  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.