We all have them, so don’t pretend you don’t. As part of my journey to be “Fabulous and Fit by 50” I’m also working on my bad habits. Giving them up is going to be difficult, but admitting you have them is the first step. So here goes…
- Waiting for the “right” opportunity. Should I be "waiting for my ship to come in," while others are out there building ships? Waiting doesn't invite opportunities - work does. I’m training myself to take advantage of opportunities (like coaching with Team Beachbody) by always taking some small step the moment I recognize an opportunity. No more waiting. I’m taking this “leap of faith.”
- Procrastination. We know that often, "later" becomes "never." In order to stop my procrastinating, I’m getting in the habit of looking for and doing the easiest first step I can find. Often just starting will develop my motivation. No more excuses about working out. Get to it!
- Indulging one's laziness. I have little to say about this bad habit, except that I don't know anyone who has suffered greatly from forcing themselves to get up and do something. I’m going to start by doing something easy first, and if low energy is part of the problem (excuse), I’ll start learning a few techniques for boosting it, like deep breathing and singing. Get off the sofa!
Maybe you have heard the saying, "change
your mind - change your life." How do you change your mind?
A good start is to correct your bad habits, one-by-one. Why not
work on one with me today?
"Be all you can be" doesn't just apply to the Army. We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. We all have problems, stresses and emotions. Honestly, it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be.
I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful. The aspirations we have as kids should continue to live within us, hold on to the dream. They say "You can't teach an old dog new tricks", or can you?
The only time most of us ever look to improve is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We think and feel this way because it's not easy to change. But change becomes more painful when we ignore it. Change will happen, like it or not. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life and look at ourselves for improvement. Not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realize its for our own good.
Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel a tremendous burden before realizing the need for change. It is imperative that you release yourself from the cage of thought “It's just the way I am” or "I don't deserve to be happy". It's such a poor excuse and most of us program our minds like computers.
So, how does one become genuinely happy?
Step 1 is to Love Yourself.
Someone once said that “Loving means Accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections lies courage to discover ways to improve.
Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are content with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “How to be genuinely happy?.”
I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, winning and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.
How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? Every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.
Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in sports. Every time you take a step forward, you are scoring points in life. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each day and think to yourself “Wow! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot”. Instead of thinking “Geez, I wish I had the guts to try out. We may have won!” and then walk away.
Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest pay, or beating the sales quota. Every one has his own definition of happiness. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as many best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success.
So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.
When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults, you pass step 1 in the process “how to become genuinely happy”. For as long as you accept yourself, you then can accept others, and you will also be accepted in return. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.
Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a to a quote “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But what most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Because then you don’t just become happy, you become free.”
Dr. Joe Vitale, motivational speaker and author, often says: "the fastest way to get where you want is to be happy with where you are." Believe it or not, this mindset works! It may take some changes and soul searching on your part, but in the end, it'll be more than worth it to adopt this positive mentality.
While you should strive to make your dreams come true, concentrate, also, on yourself and your journey. When you spend less time wishing things were different and more time accepting what you've got, you've already found a sense of peace and happiness right there.
Here are some tips that can help you become who you want to be right now:
Feel gratitude. When you concentrate on the big picture, it's easier to exhibit feelings of gratitude. When you're grateful, you remain positive and appreciative of every joyful moment in life. Sometimes people get too caught up in a sense of entitlement, which leads to negative feelings. Concentrating on gratitude, instead, will get you where you desire.
Be optimistic. Some say that life is all about optimism. And it's true! An optimistic attitude is one of the few things you need to succeed. If you're trying to achieve a concrete goal, optimism will help you accomplish it. If you're trying to change your mindset, optimism will make the task easier. Optimism can be the driving force that keeps you going.
Exhibit the traits you desire. It was Gandhi who said that you should be the change you want to see in the world. With these wise words in mind, you can replace wanting with some bold action. With some persistence and perseverance, you can make it happen.
Adopt a prosperous mindset. Take a moment to determine what prosperity means to you. Are you hoping for money, a fulfilling career, or a relationship that lasts a lifetime? Know what you want, then adopt the right mindset. Once you do, you've then set yourself in the right direction toward your goals.
Find the silver lining. As you go through life, you will no doubt realize that things are not always going to go your way. But even in tough times you need to keep your chin up. Instead of allowing negativity to consume your life, seek out the silver lining. This fresh attitude can be the difference between being held hostage and achieving your goals.
Take small steps. When the place you're going seems far away and unachievable, it's important to break it down into small steps. Give yourself an achievable goal with a realistic time frame. Break that one down into smaller goals. When you avoid getting overwhelmed, you'll gain the confidence to persevere.
It's a good idea to practice one of these tips at a time until you've incorporated them into your life. Perhaps you can spend a week perfecting one strategy and, then the next week, add another one to your repertoire while continuing with the first one. Soon enough, you'll be a natural at all of them!
Once you choose a powerful and positive mindset, you'll find that you've already achieved much of what you want. Just remember: You already have the traits, mindset, and lifestyle you desire, and you know that success is inevitable, but only when you have the will to break through the obstacles in your mind!
What is a gravatar?
A Gravatar is an abbreviation for globally recognized avatar. An avatar being a picture or logo that you can use to brand you or your business. Your gravatar (your picture or logo) is associated with your unique email address. Because your gravatar is associated with your email address, whenever you make a comment on someone’s blog that has had a Gravatar plug-in activated, your gravatar will appear alongside your comment.
Why should you have a a
By having your picture associated with your comments, you are increasing your brand awareness and visibility. A picture of you or your logo is going to be seen and, hopefully, remembered by everyone who reads your comments on Gravatar-enabled blogs. Without a gravatar, you are not uniquely identified. The picture next to your comment will just be a generic picture and will blend in with the other posts.
Create your own gravatar:
Visit the Gravatar website at http://en.gravatar.com/. Create your free account and upload a picture - that's it! Happy commenting!
Big News! Crain's NY, The NY Post & The Manhattan Chamber of Commerce Picked up My November 3 Event!By Merry Nachemin
I am very excited to say that this event was picked up by these venues! I guess when you think positively & put out the positive vibes good things can happen!
What would you like to know more about?
What expertise do you have to share with our group?
We would appreciate any suggestions.
Jo-Anne & Luba
“Your experience need not be first hand, to glean monumental inroads to learning, success and leadership. It’s about taking mental notes, fierce planning, loss of fear and simply executing.” – Tara Correll
tips for success: the tried + the true… In no particular order.
Proximity = speed: Seek out life mentors and draw from their wisdom. Study the habits that have led them to success: how do they do what they do? What makes what they do so seemingly effortless? Ultimately, with the right tools, hard work + habits, you will achieve your goals more expeditiously.
Model who you admire: There are great people in the world that possess positive qualities or habits you may lack: study, exemplify and embody those that feel authentic and work for you.
Charisma is an inherent quality that leaders are born with: Sorry, it’s not a skill that’s learned. Without naming names (His Holiness, the 14th Dahli Lama) charisma is an inherent gift. Those magnetic individuals who embody this quality attract followers and fans. You charismatic people know who you are, so please use responsibly.
Who’s on your board?: Your posse, your tribe, “your people”, identify exactly who they are. They are the trusted folks you defer to + surround yourself with. They will lovingly give you the real scoop, the skinny + the what’s what, but only if you ask. Side note :: They MAY NOT be your close friends or family.
With every challenge, there’s a solution: Feeling a bit “stuck”? Reach out to individuals who are getting things done, ask questions. BUT, know their time is valuable; offer to pay them a consultation fee, take them to coffee or lunch in exchange for their valuable expertise.
Be a student of life: Life is a classroom. There are opportunities for learning everywhere, everyday: be open to and conscious of what life presents. This includes personal adversity with people and situations. See it as gift from the universe created especially for your growth. Decipher + extract what’s to be learned, apply it and let it go. If it doesn’t make sense, it will later. Promise.
Practice proactive listening: As individuals we have lessons to learn and skills to acquire. I’m a huge fan of the “shut up, listen and learn” approach. Take notes, enough said. BTW: I am still working on this one.
Get clear about personal goals: Be realistic about what you set out to do, define expected outcome. Be systematic and clear about each action you take. Break tasks into small “doable” parts, stay on task.
Define what success means to you: How do you measure personal success? Are you money motivated? Love worthwhile causes? Require quality personal time? Get straight on your priorities. Define + create measureable benchmarks so you have a continual, quantifiable sense of accomplishment, whatever it may be.
Let go of tired inner + outer dialogue: Words + thoughts hold power. Let go of negativity and criticism toward others and self loathing toward yourself. Know that this behavior can create barriers to your ultimate success. Instead, practice using language that’s positive and nurturing. Who wants to be around someone who sucks the life out a room? Tip :: Take an inventory of the people in your life, positive people foster a healthy environment.
Don’t kick the tires in the name of perfection: Opportunity can be fleeting, better to have leaped and held on for dear life, than risk a missed opportunity. Please, when passionately pursuing your dream, go for it! If it’s meant to be, it will all play out favorably, it’s all a part of the learning curve. Believe me, I know firsthand.
Listen to your inner voice: Aka “your gut instinct”. It’s there for a reason: so listen + take heed. It’ll save you time and keep you from taking an unfavorable detour.
Stay focused, stay flexible: Progress is not always sequential, learn to be flexible and reprioritize if you hit a roadblock. Accept that as much as we wish to push forward, sometimes now is not the time.
Lead with your authentic voice, true intention + be clear about your motivation: If intention is King, then motivation is Queen. The universal law of attraction rewards authentic thought and action ie; if you’re doing what you are truly meant to do, in the manner you’re meant to do it, they’ll be lots more success + rewards coming your way.
Be a champion for others: Successful people give back: help without hesitation. Money, time, knowledge – offer up your talent + resources, help others better themselves.
For one-on-one coaching + workshops, please visit my coaching page: start here.
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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Along with my Christian beliefs, my core values and my own personal mantra of being true to my word, I believe these four simple agreements can be easily adhered to no matter what your spiritual beliefs are. So much so, that I always recommend this book as a guide for my clients at some point in their personal journey. I am pleased to say that for most of my clients, it has been life changing for them also.
- Be Impeccable With Your Word - Words have power. It's really simple; say what you mean and mean what you say. If you say something that is not in line with your beliefs to please someone else or for acceptance, you are not being impeccable with your word. Just as important, words are so powerful that they will carry on for generations, for better, or for worse. If you say something to someone, especially a child, be impeccable with your words; they have power. Words carry energy and can shift the way the other person, as well as yourself, views life, themselves as a person, their faith and their worth. Be impeccable with your word; it is the basis for integrity and without this consistent agreement, you will be in conflict with other virtues such as trust, respect and loyalty.
- Don't Make Assumptions - There is no fine line here; it is either a fact or it is not. I guess, I think, I believe, I thought, are all the beginnings of an assumption. To eliminate drama from your life, eliminate making assumptions. Ask questions, wait for answers, make your decisions based on what is, not what you think it is, or what you think the person is thinking or feeling. Ask questions, it will eliminate the need to make assumptions. With this one simple agreement, you will be happy to learn that not all things are what you think they are when you finally learn the truth about what is.
- Don't Take Anything Personally - One of the simplest, yet most complex of the Agreements. If you choose to see things as they are, it will be easier to see that not all things are about you. Choose to release the need to think so and you will be liberated to know, most things that you've taken personally in the past, actually have nothing to do with you! When you find yourself in this situation; step back, see things for what they are, face your truth or the truth about the circumstances and see if there is truly any reason for you to take any of it personally. It's a choice, only you can decide, it's powerful and it's liberating!
- Always Do Your Best - One of the greatest gifts I learned from this Agreement is that "your best" shifts just as you do. If you believe you are "this", then recognize that "this" will change and shift from minute to minute as you and your circumstances evolve. When you learn this simple agreement and shift your thinking to apply this concept to your own truth, you immediately stop beating yourself up. If your inner voice sounds something like this, "I am not this", "I don't have that", "I failed", "I am not good enough for that" or "I could never qualify", you probably have not been very fair to yourself and your potential. When you start recognizing, with optimum truth and integrity; "I did the best I could today with what I have available to me, based on the conditions of my life and my health in this very moment",everything changes! It is amazing how life can be when you see it for what it truly is. When you accept and acknowledge that life at this very moment has no attachment to expectations from others and especially to your past, you are free to excel and do your very best! It's all about right now, this very moment. Are you doing your best in this very moment? If your truthful answer is yes, that's all that matters! Go, get it!
In my day job, I am owner of Starboard Digital, a website design firm in Connecticut. I am a PY co-faciliator for the Southwestern CT group.
In my personal life, I'm passionate about educating people about the risk of tick bites / Lyme Disease. The following is a blog I wrote for our local Patch about protecting yourself from tick bites. Education and awareness is key!
The arrival of spring/summer introduces a hazard that we all need to be aware of....ticks. New England has one of the highest rates of Lyme disease in the country. The peak season for Lyme disease is late spring through summer.
Unfortunately, DEET, common in bug sprays applied to the skin, does not kill or disable ticks and is a poor repellent for ticks. Planning ahead and taking some simple precautions before engaging in outdoor activities can help avoid a tick related illness.
Our clothing is our first line of defense.
Permethrin, which is applied to clothing only, works instantly and is extremely effective in killing ticks. Permethrin was developed to simulate the natural chemical pyrethrum that protects plants from insect attack. It will kill insects and deer ticks.
Permethrin is to be used on clothing only and treated clothing can be worn when fully dry. One treatment lasts 2-6 weeks; items can be washed between treatments. Follow all label directions carefully. Do not use Permethrin on your skin. Permethrin products are available in stores that sell outdoor gear and is marketed under different product names. CVS sells a Lice Treatment spray that contains Permethrin as well. You can also find Permethrin sprays online.
Suggested clothing items to spray every few weeks:
- Practice Uniforms
After returning indoors...
Deer ticks like cool, moist environments, such as leaf litter, grass, tall grass around the edge of yards, wooded areas, or roadsides. Ticks are present in short grass.
Even with clothing sprayed, it’s always good to be on the
lookout for ticks. Perform a careful tick check after returning
indoors. Deer ticks are tiny and difficult to see. After
clothes are worn outdoors, wash them in hot water and dry on
high heat to kill any ticks you may have missed.
2011 was a very wet year in Connecticut (record rainfall), and we finished a very warm winter; both situations can lead to a very active tick season.
Taking a few minutes to spray your clothing can help reduce the risk of a tick bite therefore reducing your risk of contracting Lyme Disease and other tick borne illnesses.