Last weekend we took the munchkins to visit family in New York City. I am still recovering from spending 10+ hours on a plane with a 2yo and a 5yo.
Here is the challenge with dragging around town a 5yo and a 2yo (who insisted on walking and refused to get into a stroller) and herding a clan of family-in-law (who are not the easiest people to say the least) – we had to stop and wait for someone to do something every 15 minutes!
For the 3.5 hours we were uptown, I was outside in the wind and cold for the full duration and spent half of that time standing on the street waiting for someone or another to get their needs fulfilled (Bathroom (x5)! Pretzel! Coffee! Ice staking! FAO Schwartz!) – without food or water.
I froze my ass off, and I resented it. My body gave in. I had a meltdown as I cried, hyperventilated and shook uncontrollably in front of the Apply Store. Yes, in public, on a crowded plaza, curled up into a ball.
The moment we got back to the hotel, I put up the “f*ck-off” sign and spent 20 minutes under a hot shower – it took that long for me to thaw and stop shaking.
The next day, I opted out of the family circus and did two yoga classes with a teacher I used to follow, and so glad I did.
The Universe doesn’t do coincidence – she went deep, dark into the hips and the poses pushed me over the edge, as I have been working through “sadness.” I tapped into the deepest silence there is, so I could listen. (I haven’t come out of the other end yet.)
I said stop when I felt resentment kicked in. I checked in to see what I wanted. I asked what I needed to do to get me back on track – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I listened and followed *my* instructions – even if it means I don’t appear “nice”, “friendly”, or “get-along.”
Are Your Violating Your Business’ Boundaries?
Our business, however, may not be that lucky. It can’t tell you doesn’t want to go along with you for the ride. It can’t scream at you for not being sensitive to its needs.
We put all these demands on our businesses – make money, live my lifestyle, make me famous, give me expert status, increase my visibility, find me followers… do this, do that, run around, jump, shovel the snow…
Hey business, can you be like all these other businesses – have this many clients, a list of that many people, go please everybody and do that JV thing, launch 5 programs a year, have this passive income bit to make money while I sleep, get me on stage, publish a book, do a podcast and send me on vacation 3 months a year? A glass of wine while you are at it.
Poor business, it can’t say to you – “Hey, that’s not what I want!” “ That is not my fullest expression!” “This may look good on paper but it’s not a reflection of our Truth.”
I know, it sounds a bit schizo… but humor me…
If your business were a person, would she be resentful if you just go ahead and do a bunch of things to/for/about her without first asking – hey, is that cool with you?
Do you impose your ego and other people’s “should’s” on your businesswithout first checking in to see what is really going to serve the big picture? What would your business say if you run your decision by her first?
A business birthed out of your passion, vision, and conviction has a life of its own. It is sacred. It is bigger than your ego. It has a purpose and in a way, you are the steward of this bigger picture.
Don’t let your ego violate the boundary of this precious place. Defend it.
Your business cannot speak for itself – but you can listen intently and respectfully. It does not throw a tantrum like a 2yo, but it will tell you when things are off – perhaps even more loudly.
Usually when things stall, when you stop feeling inspired, when you are stuck, when you spin you wheels, when you feel like you are doing a j.o.b., when you lose the FIRE you once had – you are not listening.
Misalignment between the business’ vision & purpose and the outward expression of actions creates a fracture through which time, money and energy leak. (Money leak also means money not coming in.)
Unfortunately, very often, our solution is doing more, pushing through it, googling for the magic bullet that promise to fix all your ailments. (Hey, take this pill to get rid of your lower back pain fast but it may cause projectile vomital or irreversible comatose. Hmm, no thanks, I will do some Pilates.)
More often than not, these frantic actions get you to look further and further away from your own resourcefulness and knowingness, widening the gap of the misalignment.
Only if we put our ego’s fears and insecurity aside, and just listen. shhhhhh, shut the hell up and just listen.
Feel the resentment caused by following the “should’s” or the need to please everyone at the expense of our boundary, kicks in. Check in to see what it wants. Ask what you need to do to get it back on track and reignite the FIRE – physically (your actions), mentally (your focus and identity), and emotionally (your mindset).
Listened and follow the instructions – the answer may surprise you.
If you “get” something you think is “crazy” because it’s “not done that way” – don’t dismiss it. If it’s not something someone else planted in your head from the external world, something somewhere deep within YOU is sending you a message.
Wouldn’t life be so tiring if we have to look for external validation for every single thing we do?
You may have to go deep and dark so you can stop looking around and start listening. Tap into the energy of the winter solstice, don’t be afraid to go there – it is part of you and it won’t bite.
The dark, heavy energy that comes with this introspection may be harder to swallow as it is not pleasurable as “love and light” but it is not a bad thing – it is part of the complete human experience.
When it is pitch black, you don’t see “obstacles” in the form of preconceptions, limiting beliefs and conclusions – you are left with a vast field of possibilities.
BE That Space.
And trust that the possibilities will give you the light to come out of the darkness.
The first time you go there, it will be scary. The next time, you know what to expect. The fifth time, you know how to navigate.
It’s just like yoga. After the first side, you know what to expect on the second side. As you practice more, you go deeper and open up more – even though it may still hurt, or still trigger things in us, it’s not “scary” anymore because you know how to navigate the experience, you know when to push and when to back off.
Plug your nose, let’s take a dive.
How are you going to make space and listen to your business today? Leave a comment below and let’s share: