The Four Agreements

Published by: Eluise Gambino on 7th Feb 2012 | View all blogs by Eluise Gambino

 The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz  


To say that the book was life changing for me is an understatement. In no way am I professing agreement with the personal & spiritual beliefs of Ruiz, yet, neither am I judging his beliefs. For me, his personal beliefs are irrelevant to what I learned, after all, the underlying premise of his Toltec wisdom stems from love, joy, peace and serenity, what could be wrong with that?  What I do know is if you read this book with your own personal faith and beliefs in perspective, the content of the actual "Four Agreements" can be truly eye opening and yes, life changing!
 

Along with my Christian beliefs, my core values and my own personal mantra of being true to my word, I believe these four simple agreements can be easily adhered to no matter what your spiritual beliefs are. So much so, that I always recommend this book as a guide for my clients at some point in their personal journey. I am pleased to say that for most of my clients, it has been life changing for them also.  

  • Be Impeccable With Your Word - Words have power. It's really simple; say what you mean and mean what you say. If you say something that is not in line with your beliefs to please someone else or for acceptance, you are not being impeccable with your word. Just as important, words are so powerful that they will carry on for generations, for better, or for worse. If you say something to someone, especially a child, be impeccable with your words; they have power. Words carry energy and can shift the way the other person, as well as yourself, views life, themselves as a person, their faith and their worth. Be impeccable with your word; it is the basis for integrity and without this consistent agreement, you will be in conflict with other virtues such as trust, respect and loyalty. 
  • Don't Make Assumptions  -  There is no fine line here; it is either a fact or it is not. I guess, I think, I believe, I thought, are all the beginnings of an assumption. To eliminate drama from your life, eliminate making assumptions. Ask questions, wait for answers, make your decisions based on what is, not what you think it is, or what you think the person is thinking or feeling. Ask questions, it will eliminate the need to make assumptions. With this one simple agreement, you will be happy to learn that not all things are what you think they are when you finally learn the truth about what is. 
  • Don't Take Anything Personally - One of the simplest, yet most complex of the Agreements. If you choose to see things as they are, it will be easier to see that not all things are about you. Choose to release the need to think so and you will be liberated to know, most things that you've taken personally in the past, actually have nothing to do with you! When you find yourself in this situation; step back, see things for what they are, face your truth or the truth about the circumstances and see if there is truly any reason for you to take any of it personally. It's a choice, only you can decide, it's powerful and it's liberating!
  • Always Do Your Best - One of the greatest gifts I learned from this Agreement is that   "your best" shifts just as you do. If you believe you are "this", then recognize that "this" will change and shift from minute to minute as you and your circumstances evolve. When you learn this simple agreement and shift your thinking to apply this concept to your own truth, you immediately stop beating yourself up. If your inner voice sounds something like this, "I am not this", "I don't have that", "I failed", "I am not good enough for that" or "I could never qualify", you probably have not been very fair to yourself and your potential. When you start recognizing, with optimum truth and integrity; "I did the best I could today with what I have available to me, based on the conditions of my life and my health in this very moment",everything changes!  It is amazing how life can be when you see it for what it truly is. When you accept and acknowledge that life at this very moment has no attachment to expectations from others and especially to your past, you are free to excel and do your very best! It's all about right now, this very moment. Are you doing your best in this very moment?  If your truthful answer is yes, that's all that matters! Go, get it! 

Comments

1 Comment

  • Sandra DeWitt, RN, MSN, PCC
    This is a great book and I love the other one The New Agreements in the Workplace. Even after all these years (and coach training) I find I still have a tendency to take it personally.
    Thank you for the refresher!
    Sandra
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